Step Four – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves as writers and of our writing.

I hope you took the time to pray about your writing resentments. Writing them down probably made them real for you. The whole process of admitting to ourselves that we are not perfect is really hard. It may have stirred up the initial anger or hurt that you felt at the time of the incident, which only proves that it was never forgotten or really forgiven. Jesus has told us that “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8, 32). He meant the total truth and reaching deep down and dragging up these writing resentments is only the first step.

Now that you have your list of resentments, what do you do about them? Do you push the pain down once again with another skin- deep resolution to forgive or do you use these findings to be released from the anger and pain all together? I think you need to examine the resentments and where they came from. These are a key to who you are, the pain you may carry and the areas of your spirit that need the touch of Jesus. Now that you have let the pain resurface, it is time to look at the real source of that pain—yourself.

When I was a young girl, I remember being confused by what Jesus said in Matthew 7: 3-5 “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘let me remove that splinter from your eye’ while the wooden beam is in your eye? You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye.”

I remember as a child thinking, What the heck! How can you even think about your brother? I would be in so much pain if I had a wooden beam in my eye! As I grew older I thought that I was just being a silly child – that Jesus didn’t mean that at all. However, now I know that in Jesus’ eyes we are all children and that I got it right the first time. Hanging on to our spiritual illnesses causes us so much unnecessary pain. We are in so much pain that it perpetuates itself, growing larger and larger. It becomes infected and we lose our sight. We can no longer see others in the world with truth. We first have to recognize the beam in our own eye and, with the help of Jesus and his grace, remove it.

Take all of the resentments you have written and listed and make a new column. Make a column about the part you played in the scenario. All actions have reactions. Or, as Dr. Phil is famous for saying, “Each pancake has two sides.” In this exercise you are going to examine your part or side of the story. So, for each of the resentments, I want you to write the answer to the question – WHAT CHARACTER DEFECT ALLOWED ME TO DO MY PART? WAS I SELFISH, DISHONEST, SELF-SEEKING, FRIGHTENED, INCONSIDERATE, OR OTHER?

This calls for total honesty. It isn’t easy to see our part in our own resentments. It is so much easier to see the wrong that has been done to us. It is so falsely comforting to massage that resentment from our own point of view. It is a totally foreign experience to pray about, meditate about and understand our own fault that may have caused or reacted wrongly to the resentment. Here are some examples using the resentments from our last blog:

I am resentful at: Mr. Know-it-all

The Cause: He ignored me after the conference, not taking the time to talk to me.

It affected my: (Pick one or more) Self-esteem, pocketbook, ambition, personal relationship, fear.

My Part – I was selfish not thinking about how tired Mr. Know-it-all may be or what his schedule was. I was dishonest because I really wanted him to ‘like’ me as I got his attention. I was self-seeking – hoping that Mr. Know-it-all would ask me to send him my manuscript and shorten my work to gain success by using his influence. I was inconsiderate – not even hearing his advice to keep ‘plugging away.’

Another example:

I am resentful at: Howdy Doody Publishing

The Cause: Returned my manuscript unread

It affected my: (Pick one or more) Self-esteem, pocketbook, ambition, personal relationship, fear.

My Part – I wasn’t selfish. I wasn’t dishonest. However, I was self-seeking hoping Howdy Doody publishers would print a book that was clearly not in a genre they were looking for. I was frightened, thinking that their rejection was a sign that I wasn’t a good writer after all. I was inconsiderate, not following the ‘submission guidelines’ that clearly stated that they didn’t want my type of book. I was lazy and cheap not having my manuscript edited or at its best before I sent it off.

Another example:

I am resentful at: My mother

The Cause: Laughed at my desire to be a writer

It affected my: (Pick one or more) Self-esteem, pocketbook, ambition, personal relationship, fear.

My Part – I was selfish and looking for my mother’s time and approval. I was dishonest, wanting my mother to fill a part of my soul that only God can fill. I was self-seeking, and wanted her approval and attention as her ‘best’ and most talented child. I was frightened, not secure in my faith of being the writer God made me to be. I blamed my own fear and insecurity on God and myself on not having her support.

Now read over those resentments and your part in them. Doesn’t knowing your part put a different spin on what really happened? Don’t you see the person you resented in a different light? Don’t you suddenly feel a need to go to confession this Saturday? It is a real eye-opening moment to look at every situation with the eyes of truth. However, you are just at the beginning of your transformation. Remember, you are on a journey back to your Creator. It is a journey of pain and struggle but our eyes should be on the next step. In Psalm 43 God tells us “O send out Your light and Your truth, let them lead me; Let them bring me to Your holy hill And to Your dwelling places.” Next post, let’s look at our fears!

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Step Four – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves as writers and of our writing.

How many of our actions and mistakes are created by fear? Many think that the opposite of fear is courage, but our Lord tells us that the opposite of fear is love. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…”(1 John 4:18)  As children of the light we are called to live in love. Love of our God, love of our neighbor and love of ourselves. 

It is easy for us as Christians and Catholics to love God. It is possible, with God’s grace, to learn to forgive and love our neighbors. However the hardest love that we struggle with is often the struggle to forgive and love ourselves. We know our sins. We remember our past. We feel unworthy of all the gifts that God has bestowed on us, especially the gift of writing. That fear paralyses us. It holds us back from reaching our full potential.  Let’s face it—it keeps us from using our gift to reach those who need to hear about God’s love. The Bible says a lot about fear. In fact the verse, “Be not afraid” is the most used phrase in the Word of God.

We learn fear as children. Some fears are good. We should be afraid of a hot stove. We should be afraid to run into a busy street without taking the time to look both ways. Unfortunately, we develop fears that limit us or even cause us to sin.  When we look at our defects of character and the sins we have committed, the driving force behind the sin is often fear. We are afraid of people who are different than ourselves. That fear has been the basis of prejudice, war and untold pain in the history of humanity.  We strike out at others as a protection, acting with boldness to cover the fear we truly feel. We may do things to hide who we truly are or lie because we are afraid of being judged. We commit sin because we are afraid that God won’t love and protect us, and then we lie or hide like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden because of the shame we feel.

We need to confront our fears, pulling them out of the darkness and into the light, and the only way to do that is to be honest with ourselves. Think of the fears that have caused you to sin and ask yourself what the true fear was. When you make a list of your past sins and mistakes, ask yourself what the fear really was. Are you afraid of rejection? Or are you afraid of being alone?  Are you afraid of heights, closed spaces or public speaking? Can you remember the first time you felt that fear? What happened?

Are you afraid of illness, death or infirmity? What in your past may have caused that fear? Do you fear being mocked or being laughed at?  Are you afraid of crowds, or the death of loved ones? Do you fear failure or success? Take the time to pray. Ask Jesus to show you your fears. After you have made a list of your most prominent fears, write the times that that fear caused you to sin against God or another person. You will soon find a pattern that links many of your sins to one or two prominent fears. How do we overcome those fears? We have to admit them and then turn those fears over to God. Fear is a matter of control. When we turn that control over to God, we can be healed. We will start to recognize that fear as something familiar when it raises its nasty head. We can turn that anxiety over to God immediately. He will heal us if we ask Him to. 

Fear is often the root of our sins of omission. How often has fear prevented us from reaching out to others? How often have we hidden behind our computer – turning down the chance to share our writing and our beliefs because we were afraid of being rejected, mocked or judged? We have been given a gift that was meant to be opened, not hidden. Fear colors our work and our writing career.  Often as writers, we limit ourselves, unable to take chances because we are afraid of what others may think of us. We give into our fear of public speaking when to do so would promote our work. We limit our dreams and don’t take chances because we are afraid of failure. I was surprised when God revealed that I limited myself because of a fear of success. I was taught to step back, and not ‘stand out’ because others wouldn’t like me if I succeeded. A little bit of success was okay, just not too much.

Eleanor Roosevelt said “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”

If you turn your fears over to God, He will give you opportunities to overcome your fears. He is gentle—taking small steps. For example, once I faced my fear of public speaking and turned that fear over to him, He presented me with opportunities to speak to small groups and led me gently.

So this week, as we continue working step four, let’s recognize, admit and turn our fears over to the One we need never fear. His Love will guide us in our prayer. He will lead us through the dark valley and to the healing waters. Both our spirits and our writing will be refreshed.

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Step Four – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves as writers and of our writing.

Our writing is a direct reflection of the way we live our life. It doesn’t matter whether we write science fiction or theology books, the way we think and the way we live is reflected in our work. Many of us, including myself, had a renewal of faith after a fall from grace. Even those of us who never wavered in our faith have grown in strength and grace over the years. None of us are perfect and we carry our patterns of sin and our past with us. We pray to be good examples to others. We ask God to give us the grace to be a reflection of His Love. However, as humans we often fail. Why? It is often because instead of looking at our past mistakes and our questionable character traits, we push them down. We want to forget our sins and our sorry ways. We think we should just move on and try to do better. While this might be true in one sense, it is a mistake. We should forget the shame that we feel about our behavior and take a good hard look at it. That is the way to learn. Examining our patterns is the only way to change them. “An unexamined life is not worth living” was first published in Plato’s work “Apology.” Spoken by Socrates, it still holds true today. So let’s examine our life as writers.

First let’s look at our behavior as writers. Next post we will examine our writing itself.  Let’s take a look at the harms that we may have done because of our resentments and fears. In a step by step fashion, let’s examine the harms that our sins of admission and sins of omission may have done to others. It is amazing how taking the harm we admit, and the harm we have buried, into the light helps us heal.  Putting our failings on paper opens our hearts to the truth. It works if we look at our life since childhood to the present, leading us to see ourselves and our failings in the light. I highly recommend that with guidance we all do this. However, for our purpose here we will stick to our writing life. It is not easy to face the truth about our past and our leanings to non-Christian conduct. However, we will never grow spiritually if we don’t examine our patterns of behavior. You cannot be a spiritual writer if you are not a spiritual person. You cannot be a Christian author if you don’t live what you write.

As writers, we use words, both for good and for evil. Let’s look at examples of how our words may have harmed others. You may wonder how you, as a writer, could have hurt another. I found that I did it, both being aware and unaware of the harm I was doing. I found that I, just as any non-Christian writer, was drawn by the temptations for recognition, money and success. I could easily fall into the trap of thinking that I was in charge of my own writing career. I need to be better than that. I stumble. I fail. But at least I now try to be brutally honest with myself. It has helped me to admit my mistakes and recognize my sin patterns. I hope it has helped me become a better person. Let’s look at our sins of admission first. Here are a few examples for you to think about.

1. Have you ever given another writer a low rating on Amazon when you knew they deserved a better score?
2. Have you given a tough review to another writer because you were jealous?
3. Do you ever talk against another’s work, or dismiss their work as uninspired?
4. Have you ever talked against someone to a publisher or distributer to promote your own career?
5. Have you ever plagiarized? Or stolen another writer’s idea or inspiration?
6. Have you ignored the needs of other writers or denied them the promotion or help they may want?
7. Do you talk against editors who offered honest and constructive criticisms of your work?
8. Do you talk against publishers who turned your writing down?
9. Do you routinely give negative feedback to young aspirating writers, hoping to discourage competition or natural talent?

These are just some of the actual harms we may have done consciously or unconsciously. Then there are the harms of omission.

1. Have you ignored the needs of others, never promoting or writing the reviews that all writers need?
2. Have you shared your gifts at seminars or writing groups to help new writers or those who need encouragement or advice?
3. Have you gone out of your way to network for another author?
4. Have you given publication news or advice to those who were searching?
5. Have you ever recommended another writer to a publisher?
6. Did you take the time to write “comments” on the blogs of writers who are struggling to create a following?
7. Have you taken the time to ‘like’ another writer’s webpage or blog?
8. Have you excluded another writer from a social gathering of writers or failed to offer a simple invitation to join in conversation?
9. Did you ever fail to praise or encourage other writers because you were too busy trying to promote yourself?
10. Have you promised reviews that you failed to deliver?
11. Do you routinely fail to “share” the promotional news of others because you just want to promote yourself?
12. Do you criticize or nitpick other artists to sooth your own sense of insecurity?

Wow! It’s not easy to take a truthful look at yourself as a writer! It is not easy to see or admit our own failings. How do we change? Of course we can’t change ourselves. We need the grace of God and prayer to change. The first step is being brutally honest.

Here is an easy form to use as you examine what harms you have done in your writing life:

1. I harmed (who)
2. By doing  (what)
3. I did it because this action added to (My self esteem, pocketbook, emotional security, ambition, personal relations)
4. What should I have done differently, and what will I do in the future?
5. The character defect that allowed me to do the harm in #2 was because I was – (Selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, frightened, inconsiderate, or others)

Pray about this, meditate each morning. Ask God to show you your failings. Then burn the papers and go to confession. Confession gives us the strength we need to do better the next time that situation comes up.  Next week we will move on to the resentments, fears and harms that affect our writing itself.

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Step Four – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves as writers and of our writing.

We have been examining our resentments, fears and harms. So far this has been a personal journey that explores our personality, character and spiritual life. This week, let’s look at how the events of our life, who we are and what we believe affect our writing. Our work is directly linked to our character and the message we want to convey. We as writers know the power of words. We can use words to heal or to hurt. We can exact revenge or forgiveness by what we say. We can, and many writers have, reflect our religious, political, social and personal agendas either with sympathetic or hateful characters.  Writers can manipulate a plot to an advantage, creating a destiny or ending that we want the world to follow. I think some of us may do this with conscious awareness of what we are saying and doing. Others may not be aware of the driving force behind the work. Here are some questions to ask yourself before you begin your work.

1. How does my childhood affect the subject matter of my work?
2. Does my childhood cause positive or negative leanings in my writing?
3. Is my protagonist a reflection of who I am or a projection of the person I wish I were?
4. Is my villain a reflection of someone I dislike? Do I use character description, dialog or a name that would allow that person to recognize who I mean?
5. Do I lack the courage to confront my personal pain with truth? Do I layer my writing with that personal pain, anger or resentment?
6. Do I ever get satisfaction from the harm my writing may do another person?
7. Do I lash out in anger instead of kindness, negatively denouncing others as evil, instead of being sympathetic?
8. Are my words harsh and mean-spirited? Does my work drip with hurtful sarcasm?
9. Does my work reflect the forgiving and kind-hearted nature of Jesus? Or does my work condemn and vilify those who disagree with me?
10. Do I create plots that show the Church in a negative light? Do I correctly reflect the teachings of the Church, or does my writing push my own agenda?
11. Do I denigrate or mock people of different or no faith? Do I belittle people of a different political party or those with opposing views? Do I feel self-righteous when I do?
12. Do I twist the truth to reflect my personal point of view? Or do I create fictionalized versions that deny the truth?

These are just a sample of the questions that each writer should ask themselves before, during and after creating an article, story or novel. Self-reflection is both required and necessary for a spiritual writer. How does one stay a truthful reflection of faith? How do you allow your faith to guide you into being an honest outreach of the Holy Spirit? Here are some tips:

1. Always pray before you write! It may be tempting to jump out of bed and hit that laptop, but always pause for prayerful guidance.
2. Attend Mass – as often as you can. Listen carefully to the readings and the homily. I can’t tell you how often it has changed the course of my work.
3. Read your Bible and/or Catechism daily – taking the time to meditate and reflect on what you have read.
4. Read other spiritual writers, including those who are not members of your faith. I have grown in understanding and appreciation by listening to the deep spiritual reflections of people of other religions. It has made me more Catholic!
5. Always have people of faith go over your work. They may catch spiritual mistakes, misrepresentations or even personal harms that you may or may not be aware of.
6. And last of all, ask yourself this question: Am I writing out of love or out of fear? Remember the words of the Good Book, Perfect love casts out all fear.

Next time let’s move on to Step Five!

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Step Five- Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Over the past few weeks, we have examined our failings and sins. The purpose has not been to feel badly about ourselves. It is to examine the habits, fears, and patterns that lead us into wrong thinking. Until we examine our past and step back from our individual faults and sins, we cannot see the sin patterns and character defects that we all have. I am sure if you look over your list of harms and fears, you will notice a pattern. For example, I noticed that all of the sins of my life were committed out of fear. How does that help me? Now that I recognize that is my weakness, I can remember that whenever I find myself afraid. I can stop and think – Is this fear justified? What is fear telling me to do?  Isn’t that wrong?

Since learning this about myself I have learned to ask myself in fearful situations; Am I acting out of fear or love. It has not been easy and I have not been perfect. Stopping and praying about my fear has helped me to change my pattern. I have a fearful nature. When it gets difficult I stop and remind myself that in Job 11: 15 I am promised- “Surely then you will lift up your face without blemish; you will be secure and will not fear.” The root of your most common sin might be anger, jealousy, greed or lust. Knowing this will help you to recognize it when it rises in you. In Romans 12: 3-8 the Bible tells us to “Know Thyself.” Jesus asks  “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? (Matthew 7: 3).

The first step to healing is to admit our sin pattern and character defects to ourselves. Living in truth is initially difficult. None of us, especially those who love Jesus, want to admit that we have failed to meet His expectations. We want to please Him. It hurts to admit to Him and ourselves that we have fallen short. That is pure pride! Everyone has failed. The Bible tells us in Romans 3: 23 – “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” He came to take on our sins and bring them to die on the cross. And the lie is that He doesn’t already know the truth. We hide like Adam and Eve in the garden. God made us. He watched us grow and watched our childhood affect our personality. He not only knows the truth. He is the Truth.

It is sin and the evil one who offers us freedom and then delights when we are imprisoned by our sins. When I was a teenager, in the midst of my rebellious years, I smoked cigarettes because all my friends did. I thought it made me grown up and in charge. I disobeyed my parents. Later, after I was hooked on nicotine, I realized that I had become a slave. God offered me freedom. But first I had to admit the truth to myself. With the truth and God’s grace, I was able to overcome my addiction. Now I realize that it was fear of rejection by my friends that started my nicotine addiction.

As a nurse I know that a patient cannot be healed until the disease is diagnosed, the cause hopefully found, and treatment begun. When you are sick, you need to do tests to find out if it is cancer, heart disease, or infection. The treatment for each is different. You heal when you apply the right treatment. That is why you need to examine your soul and spirit. Knowledge is power and with the truth you can find the right Bible verse, prayer, and spiritual guidance. You can avoid what we Catholics call the ‘near occasions of sin.’ Maybe, you have a tendency to gossip. Perhaps you may even have to give up friends that draw you into that pattern. Maybe you tend to lie, or exaggerate. Finding the root cause of that sin will help you overcome it. Perhaps you steal, or you may just steal someone else’s reputation. Finding whether jealousy or greed is the root of that sin can make all the difference.

Finding the root cause of our character defects directs our feet toward the narrow gate. Living in truth means that we are on the right path. That goes for our personal life and our professional life. We have one spirit and one soul. We can’t be one person professionally and another personally. To be a spiritual writer, you have to be a spiritual person. Over the next two weeks ask the Holy Spirit to show you your sin patterns. Ask Him to reveal to you the first time you fell into that particular sin. What caused you to fall? In the next post we will examine healing and the great gift of the sacrament of reconciliation or confession. We will examine how healing ourselves heals our writing.

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Step Five- Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

We are blessed to be Christians. We are especially blessed to be Catholics. Our Mother, the Church, guides us by the teachings of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Jesus, who created us and knows our character, set up the Church to meet the needs of our human nature. It is human to hide from God when we do wrong. Most people believe that the opposite of fear is courage. I believe the opposite of fear is truth. “But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.” (John 3:21). Our Lord teaches that we need to come out of the darkness. All things have to be held up to the light. In the light, we can not only admit our failings, but examine the reasons we have failed. Why have we thought, felt or acted wrongly? What feelings led to that action? What were our motives? What did this action or wrong thinking affect?

We are so blessed to have the Sacrament of Reconciliation. As a child I feared what we called confession. As an adult who had been away from the Church for many years, I spent months driving up to my church, sitting on the front steps and driving away – afraid to go to confession. When the courage hit me and I did enter the sacrament, it was as if a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Suddenly my heart was light. I walked with a spring in my step. The burden of admitting that I was a flawed human being had brought me into the light and out of the darkness.

It was not a fearful experience at all. It was entering a life of truth and only in that truth could I enter the light of love. Jesus himself gave us the gift of reconciliation in his instructions to his apostles, “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” (Matthew 16:19). What a blessing it is to be forgiven! What a joy to live in the true knowledge that God has forgiven us and we are free from the burden of shame and guilt. However, although I didn’t realize it at the time, the sacrament gave me so much more than a new start.

In Part two of the Catholic Catechism, Chapter two, it states, “It must be recalled that . . . this reconciliation with God leads, as it were, to other reconciliations, which repair the other breaches caused by sin. The forgiven penitent is reconciled with himself in his inmost being, where he regains his innermost truth. He is reconciled with his brethren whom he has in some way offended and wounded. He is reconciled with the Church. He is reconciled with all creation.⁷⁸”

I became, once again, who I truly was. I regained my innermost truth. Wow, what a gift the Lord gave me when He instituted this sacrament. I smile when I see my friends paying thousands of dollars going to therapists to find themselves. I cry when I see the struggle of non-believers as they travel the world to find the ‘truth.’ The truth lies in a small confessional in every Catholic Church across the world. God leads us into the light of truth in such a simple yet profound way. And isn’t that the Way of God. He takes the most complex issue and simplifies it for us. Why, because He loves us. Not only does He forgive our sins in this sacrament, He gives us the grace to overcome our sin patterns. So when you have finished the fourth step, it is time to be freed from the pain of the past. Go to God. Go the church. Go to confession!

Being a Spiritual writer requires that we understand human nature. We can’t create lifelike characters without understanding the soul and spirit of the human being. We can’t write about truth without living in truth ourselves. We are on a journey as a soul, as a writer and as a child of God. Admitting the truth and then living in that truth will lighten the burden we carry on that journey. It will free us to be better writers and to convey the sense of the eternal in our work.

Remember, you are gifted. You have been given a powerful gift. Along with that gift of words you have been given the gift of being a Catholic. Be courageous by being the person and the spiritual writer that God created you to be. I will end with the words of E.E. Cummings, “To be nobody but myself, in a world which is doing its best night and day to make me everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”

Next week let’s talk about being truth to others.

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Step Five- Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Let’s take a look at our wrongs as writers. Not the wrongs we may or may not have done to others, but the wrongs we have done to ourselves. Writing is a funny gift. It requires long hours of being alone. Often we need a quiet space to think and work. I have a friend who can write on her mini laptop while waiting for the bus. She is prolific and very much the exception. Most writers, including myself, need to be alone. We need quiet and concentration to listen to God’s whispers as He speaks to our hearts. It is hard to listen to what God is trying to teach us. First, we need to get past the noise of the world. Second, we need to get past the noise and demands of our loved ones. And third, we need to get past the noise and distractions of our own minds.

The world we live in is an attractive but ruckus place. Most of us find it hard to find a place in nature where we can commune with the natural world. The beaches are full of people with portable music, the stores and even the elevators are full of canned music. Years ago, I used to take a book with me when I went to the doctor’s office. Now a television is blasting with nonsense whenever I try to read. It is almost impossible to be alone to think, pray or ponder.  A spiritual writer has to search for a space to be alone in silence. However, without that special place of quiet, we can easily lose our way. Whether it is a room in your home, a log in a forest or (one of my favorites) a Eucharistic Adoration chapel, we need to find a place for our imagination and inspiration to grow.

The most difficult barrier to our silent reflection can be the very ones we love. How difficult it is to get away from our spouse or children without being overwhelmed by guilt. After all, isn’t it God’s Will that we be attentive to our husband or wife? Don’t we want to imitate Mary and be the perfect mother? In the list of our priorities, our family comes before our writing. However, our relationship with God comes before our relationship with anyone else. It is a balancing act. Timing is what is important here. Do you need to get up early to write—before anyone else gets up? Do you need to stay up late? Are you willing to make that sacrifice? Or do you just need to turn off the T.V. after the kids go to school? Do you need to turn down an afternoon with your friends, or just need to write before you check your emails or Facebook? I know a writer who goes to the library each day after she drops her children off at school. It is quiet and she sits at the library table for two hours each day before she goes home to the rest of her life. Our fear of facing that blank page or that new chapter can have us creating excuses and blaming everyone else for our lack of work. If you are honest with yourself, you can always find a time alone, a separate space to do your work.

The logistics can be worked out if you are a serious writer. However, once you find your place and time, the biggest distraction can be yourself. When you are alone in your quiet place do you start planning dinner or think of all the real work you are ignoring? This often happens in prayer. How do you deal with it? I go into Christian meditation. Close your eyes, and while taking deep slow breathes, think of you favorite place on earth. Mine is the pine forest behind my house. Bring yourself mentally there. Then have Jesus come and sit with you.  Don’t talk—let Him talk. Let Him lead you into the writing, into the story, into His Will for you. It never fails. You can be physically sitting in your house, in front of your laptop, and yet you have gone to your special place with your Savior. When you open your eyes, things become clear as you become inspired.

How does this relate to step five? You have been wronging yourself. And what is worse is the fact that you have been dishonest with yourself. Like the story of the talents in the Bible, we are all guilty of being afraid and burying our talent. We find excuses and distractions to keep us from doing the work we were sent here to do. We can always find the place, time and inspiration to write. Let’s be honest with ourselves. Let’s live in truth.

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Step Six – We’re entirely ready to have God remove all the defects of character that affect our writing and our writing career

Let’s find a place where we can talk to God, and most of all, listen to Him. For months we have been working toward becoming the spiritual writer that God created us to be. Now, with Step Six, it is time for action. In the first five steps we opened our minds and hearts to the truth. Sometimes the truth can be very difficult to admit. When we look at Step Four and truthfully review our faults and failings it can be depressing to know how imperfect we truly are. So many times we have promised to do better, confessed our sins and went forth with a determination to succeed. It didn’t take long for us to fail. Why? Because we thought we could use sheer determination and the power of our own will to become the person and writer we wanted to be. We can’t.

Only God can change us. As long as we think we are in control, we will fail. He is in control. So let’s find a quiet place to be alone with Him for at least an hour. For the first part of that hour let’s review the first five steps.

1)      Step One – We admitted that we are powerless over our human desire for fame, wealth and power – that our writing life had become unmanageable.

2) Step Two – Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore our writing to sanity.

3)      Step Three – Made a decision to turn our writing and our writing career over to the care of God.

4)      Step Four – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves as writers and of our writing.

5)      Step Fivet- Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

After a short review, let’s turn it all over to God. The place we go to pray is important. I think there is nothing better than an empty church or a Eucharistic Adoration chapel. You might prefer a deserted beach or park. Maybe you have a special place where you find peace each day. Wherever you go, please be sure that you will not be disturbed for at least an hour or more.

Close your eyes and thank Him for the closeness you have found while practicing these first five steps. Thank Him for your gift of writing and the grace of knowing Him and His Will better.

Now, knowing your faults and failures as a writer and living in complete truth, ask Him if there is anything that you have missed. STOP, Pause and Listen! Let His Love cover you. Let Him flood you with His Grace.

Turn it all over to Him, all the dreams and all the failures. Hand Him all the pain and the failures. Give Him the inspiration and imagination. Let go of the ambition and control. It was all His to begin with. It just took you some time to really know that.

Don’t you feel better? Aren’t you lighter without that weight on your shoulders?

Now let it all go. Just sit. Let Him do the talking.

Bask in His Love. Absorb His Grace. Let Him increase your understanding and your gift.

Stay. Stay as long as He wants you to. At least an hour… You may be surprised how fast the time flies by.

 Now is the time for the sixth step. Now is the time to ask.

Ask Him to remove your defects of character both personally and professionally. Ask Him to remove any defects that you are aware of and those you are not aware of. Only He can. Let them go and trust that He has.

You will be surprised that the next time you are about to fall into one of those flaws you will become aware before you do. Or if you fall, you will be aware that you did and can make restitution immediately. It is a gentle process. Give it to Him and it will begin and you will be free to use your writing gift according to His Will.

And you have just completed the Step Six.

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Step Seven – Humbly ask God to remove all our shortcomings as writers, allowing Him to cleanse us of our worldly desires.

Are we humble? Are we humble enough as writers to develop a truly deep relationship with God?  We know our shortcomings as writers both professionally and personally. Do we have enough love and faith to really give our writing over to Him?

Believe it or not, we fail this step by not being kind. We, who are kind to everybody else, are most unkind to ourselves. Often we envision a God who created us with numerous faults and unholy tendencies.  We think that our life’s work is to overcome our inclinations and failings. This attitude spills over into our writing. We are harsh on our creations. We strive for perfection and delay sharing our work because we question its value. That is because we want control, perfection and acclaim. Our work becomes a burden instead of a pleasure. It can become a curse instead of a gift. Why are we so unkind to ourselves? Why are we always judging ourselves and our work harshly?

On one hand we are influenced by the success of secular writers; we may even compromise our message to gain that financial success. We allow ourselves to change or soften our message of Christ’s love to make our writing more mainstream or palatable. Then to top it off we carry the guilt of compromise and again judge ourselves.

On the other hand, we can swing the other way, thinking our work should be preachy. We are harsh on the characters we create who aren’t saints. Not quite as hard as we are to ourselves. We promote the idea that those who follow Christ must struggle constantly against their nature, the world and the evil one. Our characters must be perfect. This is a reflection of our own need to be perfect. Both these approaches in our work are wrong.

“How can we expect charity toward others when we are uncharitable to ourselves?”- Sir Thomas Brown

How can we be kind to ourselves? By letting go and not trying to control everything we write and create. Give the creation and control of the story to Him who is the entire story.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”- John 1:1

When you decide what to write is it something you thought of? Or is it an inspiration from Him?

When you develop your characters, do you allow Him to flood your mind with the people He wants your readers to know? One sign that you are in control is if they are too perfect or too flawed. God creates complex people and characters. He likes the unique and imperfect.

When you create your plot, is it action packed to catch the eye of a producer or filmmaker? Is it the plot that He gave you? Did you even ask?

I have done both! And believe me; He is better at developing plots, characters and ideas than I am. The work is always better when He writes it.

Turning our work over to Him is initially difficult. In the end it is easy and freeing. Go into prayer. Find that place to be with Him each day. Pray before you sleep each night for inspiration for the next day. What peace this will bring to your work.

This takes care of the writing, but what about the writer? Can you give yourself to Him?

“Love is above all, the gift of oneself” – Jean Anouilh

We are not perfect. We have many faults. Let’s turn ourselves over and stop trying to correct ourselves first. That is pride – the first sin. We can’t change ourselves. Only He can change us. When we learn that we have imperfect ways such as jealously, greed, the need for recognition or selfishness, let’s be kind to ourselves. We’re only human. He is God. Turn your writing and yourself with all the imperfections over to Him. Have a sense of humor about it. I like to tell Him that He made me, he can make me better.  Next, let’s work on Step Eight! It will blow your mind!

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Step Eight – Make a list of all the people we had harmed with our writing or in our writing career. All the people we had ignored, betrayed, belittled or just not loved as Christians are called to do in imitation of Christ.

We have learned to spend time in prayer. We have mentioned the need to spend time in prayer before we write. However, how often have we gone into prayer and asked God to show us the people we have sinned against? It is so easy for us to recall all the people who have hurt us. Yet it is so painful and surprising to recall all the people we have done harm to.

This is a special list. It is a list of people we have harmed with our writing. Let’s start with those closest to us, our family. It is important for us to set up a space for our writing. We need time and space to write and do God’s Will for us and to use our talents. However, have we ever deliberately used our writing as an excuse to not do something with our family that we just did not want to do? Did we avoid a visit with that mother-in-law who drives us crazy and use the ‘need to write’ as an excuse? Did we ever skip that family get-together, or reunion – happily waving good-bye to our children and spouse as we pretended a deadline we didn’t have? Have we sat at our desktop looking lost in thought as we avoided that volunteer night at the PTA? Pray now! How many times have you used your writing as an excuse to avoid unpleasant moments with your family?

Here’s another list. How many times have you used your family as a source of characters, humor or even used family history or secrets in your work? I tend to exaggerate and color family moments and foibles to create humor in my writing. There was a time (2 weeks long exactly) when no one in my immediate family was speaking to me because they read my book on surviving cancer and found their own stories embellished and full of hyperbole in the first few chapters. I was trying to take a serious subject and make it lighter with a little fun. However, while the readers may have laughed at my son getting his hand caught in a gumball machine, my son did not find my sharing humorous. My husband didn’t really care much for my take on his odd eating habits in the chapters on nutrition. And my daughter found my rendition of her allergic attack in my chapter on pesticides less than funny. The stories may have sold a lot of books and made a lot of cancer victims laugh but it did nothing for my family relations. This moment of family anger ended. However, there are more serious harms a writer can commit.

Have you ever based an evil character and their appearance on a real person you didn’t particularly care for? Did you secretly hope that they might recognize themselves? We writers can be passive aggressive with our work and even lie to ourselves about what we are doing. How about that particular religious group that wasn’t very friendly to you? Did you dish that group in your work? Or did you just exclude them? Are you a ‘conservative’ Catholic and just can’t wait to portray that liberal organization or priest as heretical? Or are you a ‘liberal’ Catholic who can’t wait to show the social suffering the decisions your old-fashioned parish priest causes? Do you even secretly hope that they recognize themselves and change their ways? What power the written word holds! How have you used the power of your gift? Believe it or not, this is all sin. I didn’t ask permission to use the funny family moments in my book. I didn’t consider family feelings. In one of my novels, I made the protagonist look very much like a friend who had recently hurt my feelings. I don’t think I even realized it at the time. I will always wonder if they recognized themselves and think how little love I used while creating such a character. We writers can live our lives on the fantasy level, and we need to be careful. Especially about our imagination which can easily trip us up.

And then there are the sins we commit in ‘real’ life. Have we talked against that writer whom we don’t like? Did we dish that publisher who turned our work down? Are we jealous of that award the other guy won? There are so many ways our ambition and need for recognition can lead us astray.

Then there are the sins of omission. Did we ever write that review we promised? (I can think of a few pending right now). Did we call our fellow writer and let them know about that opportunity, or did we just keep it to ourselves? Did we tell that publisher about that writer who has just what they are looking for? There are so many sins of omission, so many more sins of omission in our writing life that we ignore. I don’t want to be standing in front of Jesus and have to answer for those sins. Was I supposed to be a blessing for that other writer who is doing the work of God, and was I a block instead? Did I encourage that author with kind words and sage advice, or did I keep silent when God wanted me to be His voice? Is it possible that I even stole another writer’s idea, causing them to stumble on the path to God’s will? Did I plagiarize? Did I steal the spotlight? Did I get jealous? Did I help that new writer? Oh…so many things? I think I need to make a list!

Before you make that list (an actual list because you ARE a writer) pray and take your time. In two weeks, I will tell you about the next step. What to do with that list!

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Step Nine – Make direct amends to fellow writers, publishers, illustrators, family or readers that I may have harmed wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

During our last step, I asked you to make a list of all those you may have harmed or sinned against with your work, writing or writing career. It isn’t an easy thing to do. None of us want to admit that we may have harmed or sinned against another. Sometimes the sin we commit has become so much a part of our sin pattern or personality that we don’t even recognize it as a harm. I hope you took time in prayer to discover things done, said or undone that may have hurt others. All too often it is easy to hold grudges and grievances of wrongs that people do to us while forgetting the sins we have committed against others.

Now comes one of the hardest steps. We need to make reparation for the things we have done. It is one thing to go to confession and ask for forgiveness for a sin. If it is a venial sin, the penance may be just a prayer, service or alms-giving. However, if we go to the priest and confess that we robbed our mother’s purse and stole $1000 out of her wallet, we cannot receive forgiveness unless we make restitution. We would have to return the money and confess to our mother the harm we had done to her. I think that the easy part is returning the money. Left to my own conscience, I would slip the money back into her wallet and consider my part done. The hard part is letting my mother know that I am a thief. That I placed my own needs above hers. However, true reparation requires that I humble myself, admit my wrong and ask for forgiveness.

“Satisfaction – Many sins wrong our neighbor. One must do what is possible in order repair the harm (e.g. return stolen goods, restore the reputation of someone slandered, pay compensation for injuries). Simple justice requires as much. But sin also injures and weakens the sinner himself, as well as his relationships with God and neighbor. Absolution takes away sin, but it does not remedy all the disorders sin has caused. Raised up from sin, the sinner must still recover his full spiritual health by doing something more to make amends for the sin: he must ‘make satisfaction for’ or ‘expiate’ his sins.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2468, 1459)

This is the moment to look at your list and decide what you should do to make reparation for your past. It may be as simple as writing that review you promised or making that call you said you would.  However, if you slandered someone you are required to go to them and let them know what you did, ask forgiveness and then make moves to restore their reputation. This is not an easy process. There are times when you will lose a friend or not be forgiven. Whether the person forgives you or not is none of your business. They have their own spirituality. Your spiritually demands that you live in truth.

If you plagiarized another writer or even stole a casual idea, you need to go to that person and confess, ask forgiveness and possibly face financial restitution.  Maybe you discouraged another writer. Ask forgiveness and then resolve to give that person who may be struggling encouragement and help.

None of this is easy. It is easier to try to forget or hide – trying to save our own reputations. However, the only relationship that really counts is our relationship with God and with our own conscience.

Most of the reparations we need to make will not be as harsh. Again the hardest part is admitting our wrongs to those we have sinned against. Many of those are people we don’t care for, which is the basis for the sin to begin with. It doesn’t matter. Our own soul requires we mend the tears we have made. I have even had to make restitution with writers who have passed on. How? A Mass said, a letter written and prayed, a gift to the family left behind. Our souls are eternal and even death cannot destroy the need for justice.

The funny thing is the way this step makes us feel. We lighten our burden. We free ourselves from guilt and worry. And we find it especially hard to commit that harm ever again. We may lose friends, but can also find friends we never expected. The biggest benefit is becoming friends with Jesus, and yourself.

There is one precaution. As the step says, we can never ‘unburden’ ourselves if to do so would harm the other person or others. For example: To confess to someone’s wife that you had an affair with their husband may make you feel great, but it would harm the wife and possibly destroy the family. You cannot resolve wrong by creating another. However, be careful that you don’t use this as an excuse not to tell the truth or to ask for forgiveness when it is appropriate.

Take your list and have courage. The courage of Christ will make you the spiritual writer, person and soul you were meant to be. We will explore more on this subject in our next post.

Step Nine – Make direct amends to fellow writers, publishers, illustrators, family or readers that I may have harmed wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Last week we worked on reparation. Did you make amends for your wrongs? Did you find creative ways to repair harms you had done? Starting is not easy, but the journey becomes a joy once you discover the benefits of restoring your soul to the status it was meant to be in. Next Sunday is Divine Mercy Sunday! What a Blessing! As you go about your list and make reparation to those you have harmed, others will be revealed to you. Healing is an ongoing process. Isn’t the Mercy of Jesus great! Lent is ending – the Resurrection has come, and Mercy is around the corner. Making reparation is not always easy. If you have faced rejection- unite that rejection to the rejection of Jesus. It is a healing process – well worth the journey.

Now is the time to make amends to you. It is often harder to see the harm you have done to yourself than the harm you have done to others. How have you harmed yourself as a writer? Have you put your writing last in your life? How will you make reparation to yourself? Have you been afraid to step up with courage and send your work out? What will you do to forgive yourself and step forward? Did you use false humility to talk down your gift? Were you afraid to ask for that review? Did you turn down that speaking engagement? The list of harms that you have done to yourself as a writer is endless. Forgive yourself and make reparation to yourself. Ask Jesus to open your eyes to the harms you have done to yourself as a writer. Now go forward to heal your relationship with the writer within you. Find creative ways to heal. Maybe you need to spend quality time writing or promoting your own writing. Maybe you deserve to go to that writing retreat or conference. Perhaps you should take that short story or novel and flood the publishing world with query letters. Be as careful and creative in making reparation to yourself as you were in making reparation to others.

This week, while I was saying the rosary, I was given an insight into the mystery of the Garden of Gethsemane. In His suffering, Jesus asked the Father if the cup of pain he was given to drink could be taken from him. He didn’t want the suffering he was given. He wanted to choose his own suffering. Don’t we do that? As writers, and as people, don’t we often create our own suffering rather than deal with the suffering we are meant to work through? Facing the suffering of our past is especially difficult. As children we used coping mechanisms that we carry over into our adult years. We may choose the suffering of addiction, to food or drugs or alcohol, etc., instead of working through the abuse we suffered as children. We may even hide our writing – allowing it to be ignored rather than fully experiencing the neglect we felt from our family. We can use the suffering we choose as a distraction from the need to fully feel and eventually forgive the suffering we didn’t choose in life.

We distract ourselves from the pain of the present also. Is the fear of facing the rejection we get as writers the suffering we can’t face? We can avoid it by reworking that story over and over again. Is the fear of attention to our work replaced by a false humility about our gift? Why is it that we writers do more harm to ourselves than others? We want to choose the suffering we can handle. Isn’t it easier to try another diet, go to another meeting, and choose our own failure, instead of living in the truth of the suffering we have been given. Let’s spend this week looking at the harm we have done to ourselves as people and as writers by trying to control our own suffering. Let’s ask God for the courage to take the cup we have been given.

We need to remember that the suffering cup we have received is the one God knows will lead to our resurrection. Personally, and in our work, we need to face the cup we are given and work our painful way through it. That will lead to our own Easter. We are followers of the Cross. As we walk through the pain of isolation and dismissal we need to know that He is with us. As we face the fear of ridicule and dismissal, we need to carry that cross, face that suffering and arise from the grave. Let’s take our cup and follow Our Savior. We have a mission of writing as He had a mission of Salvation.

So this week look at how you have harmed yourself and your writing career. Look at the distractions and suffering you have chosen instead of the suffering you were meant to work through. This week, make reparation to yourself! Next week we will move on to the next step in becoming the writer you were meant to be!

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Step Ten – Continue to examine ourselves, our writing and our writing gift daily and when we are wrong, promptly admit it.

By now we have asked God to reveal all the mistakes and sins of our past. We have made amends to those we have hurt in our writing and writing career. We have turned our work over to God. But where do we go from here? We are called to live a life examined.

“An unexamined life is not worth living” – Plato

We are now living in the life of the Holy Spirit. How do we grow and continue in the wonderful sense of peace and love that this life offers? How do we use our gift of words to heal and teach the wounded world? We need to give our writing to God – recognizing that it was His all along.

Each morning we need to offer the day, ourselves and our work to God. Taking the time to go into the humility of prayer centers us. Asking God to give us the inspiration and knowledge we need to reach the hearts of the lost is essential. Let Him lead you gently into the day He has planned for you. It doesn’t have to be a long prayer, but it is not something you can skip. We writers tend to rush to our work, trying not to lose a moment of our precious writing time. Don’t skip this morning dedication. It will make the writing better, more focused and easier.

Now that we know ourselves it will be easier to catch ourselves when we fall into that sin pattern that we have developed as writers. Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to guide us away from jealousy, greed, gossip, resentment and fear. Pray that He will instead lead our writing and our hearts into a writing life of love and caring. When we are aware of our motives in our work it is easy to follow His Will. Now if we fall, we recognize and admit it and make restitution immediately.

This way of living and writing is so peaceful. There is no unbridled ambition or hurt because we know that we have turned over our writing and its purpose to the Lord. We need not worry about it anymore. We only need to listen as He whispers inspiration and guidance to our hearts. It is a gift after all and when we turn it over to Him, His way is so much larger than ours. With all the ambition, jealousy and resentment gone we can concentrate on the words and tales of our craft. What joy I have found in just loving and developing my skills.

The Church calls us to examine our conscience each day. In reviewing our day, we are guided by the Holy Spirit to see the wrongs we have done in order to make changes and amends. It is the same in our writing life.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

IV. INTERIOR PENANCE

1430 Jesus’ call to conversion and penance, like that of the prophets before him, does not aim first at outward works, “sackcloth and ashes,” fasting and mortification, but at the conversion of the heart, interior conversion. Without this, such penances remain sterile and false; however, interior conversion urges expression in visible signs, gestures and works of penance.²³

1431 Interior repentance is a radical reorientation of our whole life, a return, a conversion to God with all our heart, an end of sin, a turning away from evil, with repugnance toward the evil actions we have committed. At the same time it entails the desire and resolution to change one’s life, with hope in God’s mercy and trust in the help of his grace. This conversion of heart is accompanied by a salutary pain and sadness which the Fathers called animi cruciatus (affliction of spirit) and compunctio cordis (repentance of heart).

Each night we need to examine the day we have just lived. Not only our personal life but also in our writing and marketing. The Catholic Church has long taught that a nightly examination of conscience is critical in living a life in the Spirit. That is also true for our writing life. The Church has provided us with many guides to our nightly examination of conscience. Here is my take on a daily examination for a writer. It is a list of questions to ask daily about what we wrote that day:

• Did I respect the life and dignity of my readers?
• Did I look for the face and teachings of Christ in my characters, prose and stories?
• Did I protect the privacy and dignity of those I write about?
• Am I using my words to promote protection of life from cradle to grave?
• Is my work positive for my readers?
• Does my work strengthen or undermine the institution of marriage and family?
• Do I touch on the problems of society with answers that are compatible with Church teachings and the Gospel?
• Does my work reflect the dignity of the poor, the working and the marginalized?
• Are my words healing or divisive? Kind or judgmental?
• Was I generous to my family, friends and other writers?
• Did my work or my marketing fall into jealousy, greed or fear?
• Did I teach the dignity of life for people, animals and the good earth that God created?

If all is well I can go to sleep in peace. If not, I can plan to make it better tomorrow and change any harm I may have caused. A daily examination will fill your dreams with inspiration and possibly even exiting new plots. Our God is so generous when we follow His Way. And as we sense the flow of the Holy Spirit in our life we will share it in our work!

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Step Eleven – Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our writing by seeking a conscious contact with God – praying only for the knowledge of His will for our work and the power to carry that out.

I have always loved the term that the early Christians used to describe our faith. They called it “The Way.”  I love it because it denotes action. It points to a journey, a path. When we want to go somewhere we check a map, or put the address in our Garmin. (Although my children say this ages me!) We don’t head out on a trip without knowing where we are going.

So it is with our writing journey. We are more than just writers. I once belonged to a writing group headed by a very talented writing professor from Princeton University. I felt so inadequate because everybody in the group was highly educated and held Ph.Ds in Literature and English.  Here I was with a nursing degree and a talent I didn’t know how to use. When I read my positive stories of faith I could feel the animosity and silent mockery of some in the group. Discouraged, I was ready to quit. Instead, that wonderful professor took me to the side and said, “You can learn the skills you need to be a writer! The difference between you and the others is that you have something to say!”

Those words propelled me forward. I couldn’t have been a writer in my youth. I wasn’t that smart. It wasn’t until I found my lost faith in God that He gave me something to say. Anyone can learn the art of writing. It is only a precious few whom He calls to be Spiritual Writers. It is a small niche. It is a tiny genre. We are called by the world to seek worldly riches and acclaim. There is nothing wrong with these things, but when we start to make worldly success our goal we lose the very thing that makes our writing unique and special. We are writing for the Kingdom of God. Our riches lie in another world. And yet doesn’t He always provide.

So we must follow the path. We must live The Way.

“The strength of a man consists in finding out the way in which God is going, and going in that way too.”… Henry Ward Beecher

I want to follow The Way. And I am blessed because our Catholic Church clearly outlines how to do that. It is so simple and yet it is the hardest thing I have ever done. I need to turn my will, hopes, dreams and writing over to Him. When I do, I experience such a sense of peace and contentment. I am no longer burdened by my own desires. I can live simply. I can follow the Church’s teachings. My writing reflects my faith and I am hopefully following His Will. It is only when I start to play tug of war with the control of things that I get lost.

My gift requires more of me than I am always ready to acknowledge. My gift was given to me to heal the hurting and lost children of the world. I was once (and often still am) one of those children. Oh, at times it might be easier to ignore the gift of words and the hurt and rejection that often accompany it. But how would I stand before Jesus at the end of my life and explain that I buried the talent out of fear? How would I explain all the healing and inspiration that didn’t occur for the rest of my brothers and sisters because I decided to write what was popular or trendy? I have to follow His Way.

How do I do that? I can only do that by turning myself and my work over to God. I learn His Will by daily prayer. I meditate on His Words in Scripture. I meditate on the mysteries of the rosary. I do a daily examination of conscience for myself and my work. I ask Him to speak to me and He often does – in Eucharistic Adoration or even in my dreams. I need to have the Holy Spirit around me. I need to look for God in the faces of others, in the sacraments, in the small miracles and unexpected coincidences of daily life.

To be a Spiritual Writer seems like a paradox of extremes. We need to be humble enough to know it is all His. Yet, we need to have enough faith and self-confidence to use the words He gives us.  But know this: Living The Way for us is both special and wonderful. The path can be dark and scary and, yet at times, we are graced with such brightness and joy it overwhelms us. The journey is isolating and lonely, yet the end result is the greatest connection to others that anyone can ever experience. To learn that someone in a distant state or country came home to God because a character in your novel touched them is a grace that fills your heart. To see the smile of a child – to know that they have found joy in goodness – is beyond any confirmation you will ever need. God gives each Spiritual Writer just the right words to reach the lost soul. It doesn’t matter what genre or type of writing you do. It is for one of His lost souls. And in saving that soul, you save your own.

You may stumble or lose your way. God knows that I have. You may be lured by the world or by the devil himself. Don’t get discouraged. Look ahead – see the light. He will light your way – His Way.

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Step Twelve- Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we will carry this message to other writers and practice these principles in all our affairs.

What are the principles we learned as we traveled through the twelve steps to being a spiritual writer?  In step one, we learned honesty. We became honest with ourselves and others by admitting that we long and dream of worldly success and all the trappings that come with it. It is sometimes hard to be honest with others, but it is often harder to be honest with ourselves.

In step two, we learned hope. We became hopeful that God truly cared about us and our writing and that we were not alone. Even in our loneliest hours while we were struggling with rejection or writer’s block we had hope in the knowledge that He is with us.

In step three, we learned faith. We made the most important decision in our writing life by turning our writing and our writing career over to God. We came to depend on His guidance and plan for the gift He has given us – turning to Him each day and with every decision.

In step four, we learned courage. We had the courage to look at ourselves and admit our defects, both in our work and in our writing career. We had the courage to examine our underlining motives and desires. We admitted with bravery the truth about ourselves and our past actions.

In step five, we learned integrity. We had the integrity to be our true selves. We no longer had to pretend to be holy and perfect. We learned to be who God created us to be, both to ourselves and others.

In step six, we learned willingness. We became willing to let go of the sin patterns in our writing life. We became willing to turn our career and our work over to the guidance of God each morning.

In step seven, we learned humility. We let go of our need to be important, known and famous in our writing career. We came to understand that only God could change us. We now know that we haven’t got the ability to change ourselves by sheer will power. We need to turn all of ourselves, including our work and career, over to Him, trusting Him each day.

In step eight, we learned self-discipline. By looking at our past and making reparations to the other writers we may have harmed, we became less likely to harm others in word or deed.

In step nine, we learned love. We have learned to accept other writers, publishers and all those we have contact with in our career as they are. Not trying to change them into what we want them to be. We love them for who God made them to be. We accept them.

In step ten, we learned perseverance. We have learned that once we are aware of what God wants us to write and are inspired to do so, we work. We work at doing His Will and don’t worry about what the world says. Our success lies in doing His work and carrying His message. We also persevere in practicing the principles of being the kind of person and writer that we should be in relation to others.

In step eleven, we learned spiritual awareness. We became practiced in daily prayer and Scriptural meditation. We learned to never write until we prayed. We learned to listen to Him. We applied this principle to our relations in our family and to others in the writing world, always aware that He will guide us if we turn to Him daily.

Now, in step twelve, we learn service. It is not all about us! It is not all about our writing and our career! What can we do to help other writers? Do we do anything to help the Catholic Writer’s Guild? Do we offer our skills to our parish? Do we reach out to new writers? Have we ever made a phone call to encourage another writer? Have we let go of our need to control and manipulate others, allowing God to work through us to reach His other children in need?

In step twelve we come to know that we not only carry the message of peace and love to other writers. We are the message. We have become the message by the way we turn it all over to God and allow Him to guide us each day into doing His Will.

It is a new way of writing. It is a new way of life. I call it the Magnificent Obsession. That is not original to me. A minister once wrote a book, a romance about this way of life. For us it means that our own writing and our career’s success is no longer the obsession that guides us. It is this. Each morning we pray for guidance, turning our work and our day over to God. When we find ourselves obsessing or tempted to jealousy or depression over rejection or isolation from others, we change our past way of coping. We reach out to help those other writers and publishers both in word or deed.

Each night take the time to ask God what wrongs you did that day. It is a day by day practice and we grow deeper in our relationships daily. Then, I like to ask God who I can help the next day. I ask Him what I can do for the person or fellow writer He has shown me. Then I ask how I can do that anonymously. Sometimes I can’t but most of the time I can. It becomes an obsession! How can I make sure that the glory of this good goes only to God and not myself? It can be as simple as recommending the other writer’s work to a friend or posting their book or a book review online. It can be recommending their work to a publisher or calling with publishing news or encouragement that will help them. If you let God guide you, you will find a life of joy. This is a new way of life that spills over to the rest of your life. I go to sleep excited – planning how to follow God’s Will, smiling about how I can do it without the person knowing who did such a wonder.

This is the last post of “The Twelve Steps to Being a Spiritual Writer.” I hope that this series has been of benefit to you. I trust you will try to practice the principles of this new life. I have not done this alone. I want to thank God for the inspiration. I also want to thank Kathryn Cunningham for her guidance and editing. Her support and kindness has been greatly appreciated. I also want to thank Teresa Frailey for her editing and hard work. I will be taking a break from writing for the CWG blog. I have two unfinished novels and a new children’s series to work on. Thank you, my faithful readers, for your encouragement and input. Keep praying, writing and publishing!

Karen Kelly Boyce is a mother of two and grandmother of two who lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She and her husband love to camp and take ‘road trips’ around the country. She has published four novels and three children’s books. Her website is www.karenkellyboyce.com

Online Writers Conference to Coach Catholic Writers to Success

Contact: Karina Fabian, Catholic Writers Guild, 805-304-4433

Online–September 14-16, 2018, the Catholic Writers Guild will host, via webinar, an online writers conference focused on helping Catholic writers succeed in their craft. The Catholic Writers Conference Online provides Catholic writers with a prime opportunity to meet and share their faith with editors, publishers, and fellow writers from across the globe. Speakers will discuss writing as a calling, literature as evangelization, and even how genre fiction like horror and science fiction can still reflect Catholic values.

Presenters include Joseph Pearce (Further Up & Further In), Michelle Buckman (Turning in Circles), Karen Ullo (Jennifer the Damned) and many others. Recordings and reference materials from all presentations will be available free to all conference attendees.

The webinar conference will also give authors an opportunity to meet with publishing professionals and pitch their writing projects. In the past, publishers from large Catholic presses, including Pauline, Ave Maria, and Our Sunday Visitor, and secular presses like Anaiah Press and Liberty Island, have participated. Of those who pitched at the 2017 online conference, over 10 percent have been offered publishing contracts and several are published, including on finalist for the Catholic Arts and Letters Award, Michelle Buckman.

The Catholic Writers Guild, sponsors the online conference, as well as a live conference in July and a semi-annual writers’ retreat in October. As a religious non-profit organization affiliated with the Archdiocese of Indianapolis, the CWG uses these conferences to further its mission of promoting Catholic literature.

CWG President, Joseph Wetterling, says, “The Guild exemplifies the Catholic ‘both/and’ with writers from every part of the world, in every genre, and from every walk of life. We’re diverse in personality and style but united in our loyalty and love of the Catholic faith. The Catholic Writers Conference Live is a unique opportunity to come together in fellowship and sharpen each other toward our united mission: a rebirth of Catholic arts and letters.”

Registration costs $30 for CWG Members and $45 non-members. To register or for more information, go to https://catholicwritersguild.org/online-conference.

I eagerly awaited the second installment of this trilogy. I so enjoyed the first of book, Julia’s Gifts, that I couldn’t imagine Ellen Gable would be able to top book number one. I should have known better. Ellen Gable is so extremely talented that she never fails to entertain and delight her many fans. I follow her writing with great appreciation and enjoyment.

Charlotte’s Honor is set in the turmoil of the world at war. World War I was a violent and particularly nasty conflict with the introduction of chemical warfare and massive casualties. The dangers of being a nurse, medic, or physician in this struggle called for great courage and dedication.

With great accuracy Gable captures this part of history and places the reader in the middle of the battles and horrific destruction. As a reader, I felt as if I was right in the medical tents, holding the hands of dying men and rushing to hurried surgeries.

Yet despite the tragedy of the war-torn time, Gable pulls hope, faith, and love out of her well-rounded characters. With unique and unexpected twists and turns, Charlotte’s Honor kept me turning the pages just to keep up with the changes and dangers that the characters experienced.

Charlotte, a young nurse, finds she has a special calling to comfort the dying.  She feels herself drawn to sit with terminal soldiers and bring her faith and love to the last moments of each young man’s life. Comforting the dying is a service that most avoid but it’s a devotion that Charlotte attends with compassion and hope. Perhaps she can sit and sing her songs of courage because she has risen above her own pain. She has known tragedy, including the loss of her own family.

While working tirelessly among the wounded, she meets a special physician who by an unexpected kiss awakens her heart. The barrier to accepting that love is fear. Painful memories block acceptance of what God has surely designed.

This second installment of the trilogy is a romance, mystery, and insight into history. That is magical enough. However Charlotte’s Honor is so much more.  With great skill this author weaves a tale that puts God’s omnipotence on display. While this work is a historical romance full of mystery and tension, it is really a shining story of God’s pattern of bringing good out of evil. It is a story of finding faith, hope and love in the midst of chaos and evil. Only an author as gifted as Gable can pull this off. Gable’s own faithful and loving heart is woven between the lines of this beautifully compelling story. I can’t wait to read the third of the magnificent trilogy, and highly recommend Charlotte’s Honor to anyone who loves a good book.

In the last post, we talked about the damage that rejection and criticism do to a writer’s spirit. Most writers are sensitive, quiet people who are unsure about their calling. So how do you weather the endless rejections from publishers and critics?

First, remember the rejection that Jesus received. Imagine what would have happened if He gave up when He found His people accusing Him of blasphemy. He persevered. If Jesus hadn’t come into the world, we would not know Christianity and the peace and salvation it brings. We would not have the eternal life He obtained for us with His very life. His suffering, not only verbal rejection but physical pain and dismissal by the same people Jesus had come to save, must have pierced His heart.

I often think of the garden where He begged to have this cup taken away from Him. It was not. His closest friends deserted Him. One betrayed Him. Another denied Him. He had a mission, and while the human in him sweated blood with the pain He faced, Jesus didn’t let His own feelings stop what He was born to do. 

Where is the Christ in you?

Is a letter of rejection enough for you to give up the gift that God has given you? I hope not. I always love the thought that Jesus would have come and died on the cross just to save one soul. Wow! A soul must be worth a lot. What would you do if you knew just one person was saved by reading one of your works? Wouldn’t it be worth all the work you put in? If saving one soul was good enough for Jesus, why wouldn’t it be good enough for you?

Christ lives in you, in your soul, in your spirit, and your gift of writing. Are you ready to cast Him out? Can’t you imagine meeting Him on your last day and Him showing you the soul that came back to Him because of your gift of writing? Imagine meeting that person who now has eternal life.

Not only that, but faith has a ripple effect. Imagine the people his or her new faith saved. Are you ready to let a little rejection deprive you of that? It is said that people found belief when St. Peter’s shadow passed over them. Can your work and the courage it takes to write from your spirit be that shadow that passes over someone?

The opposite of fear is courage. Don’t let a few rejections discourage you. 

How do you make the change?

One of the first things is to change the tapes of doubt that you repeatedly play in your head. It isn’t important what other people say. What is important is what you say to yourself. Do you wake up each morning and tell yourself that you are a writer? What do you say when people ask you what you do or what your work is?

I used to say that I was a retired nurse. It was easy. There were no questions about that answer. I didn’t realize that I was also telling myself that I wasn’t a writer every time I gave that timid answer. After all, if I told others that I was a writer, the inevitable next question would be: “Oh, have you been published?” Somehow, I thought that mattered. I didn’t think my little articles were enough to qualify me as a real writer.

Every time I denied who I was, I was like Peter denying Christ. I was not only lying to the person asking; I was lying to myself, and playing that tape over and over destroyed whatever confidence I had. So what do you say when someone asks you what you do or who you are? From now on, I want you to tell them that you are a writer even if you have another job to pay the bills, even if you haven’t published yet.

You are a writer if you write. And every time you say it out loud, you are telling yourself who you are. Yes. It is that important. Destroy that negative tape that plays in your head. Announce to the world, and mainly yourself, who you are. 

Now that you know you are a writer, what is the next step? 

Set up an office for your work. It is your work, after all. Don’t you need a quiet place to write? Don’t you deserve it? When I set up my office, it made my writing real to me. I was telling myself that I was a real writer and deserved to have an office. I took a desk from my childhood room and polished it up. I printed the two articles that I had published, framed them, and hung them on the wall. I got a used but nice leather desk chair and set up my office in my house’s loft.

Every day, when I looked at my little spot, I knew my calling was waiting for me. As time when on, I took photos of the covers of my self-published novels. I framed them and put them on a shelf above my desk. Whenever I got an award, I framed it and added it to my office wall. Just looking at my work as it built up over the years convinced me that I was a writer. Now that I write for children, I always frame the letters or touching reviews I receive from them.

I know who I am. Do you? Next post, let’s talk about what to do with those rejection letters.

Copyright 2021 Karen Kelly Boyce

A romance? A mystery? An adventure? What is this novel? Where You Lead is all of these things wrapped in colorful history and tied together by the outstanding talent of Leslea Wahl. What a gift I received in my mailbox. It kept me away from my housework and laundry. It kept me awake past my bedtime. And I loved every minute of it because I loved this teen novel. 

Eve is just sixteen, and yet God calls her with dreams and visions. Visions that show her a handsome, young man far away in Washington D.C.  Nick, the teenager in her visions, is also being pulled into convincing his father to run for public office. Taking the chance to follow her calling, Eve seeks out and finds this unknown future love.

Together they are launched on an adventure that encompasses all the beautiful history of our Capitol City. Chased by the greedy, they escape those who want to find Confederate gold, following a lost legend in history. They follow century-old clues found in graveyards, monuments, and historic buildings. Nick and Eve follow our rich American history and lead the readers on an action-packed, spellbinding chase to find Confederate gold, prevent a pending war in Europe, and, most of all, discern God’s Will. 

As Nick and Eve ride this rollercoaster of mystery, they are fighting the innocent attraction they find for each other. Throughout the adventure they share, they begin to experience romantic feelings that they try to hide. Admiration grows between them as they encourage and guide each other away from doubt and fear. Sharing both their faith in God and the virtues they both live stirs a deep affection between our two heroes. 

I highly recommend this novel. It is not only entertaining for teenagers but adults also. Where You Lead has won the Illumination Award for being faithful to Catholic doctrine. Parents can rest easy that it has nothing within its pages that will lead their teens astray. It takes great talent to entertain with story and truth. You can order this book at VinspirePublishing.com or Amazon.com. 

How do you let go?

It’s like sending your firstborn to kindergarten. You’ve nurtured and fed your baby for years. You got up early and stayed up late to tend to your baby. You spent so many hours alone in the company of your bairn that you fear letting them go.

Is it safe to put your loved one out into the cold, cruel world? How will they treat your little one? Will they love your creation as much as you do? Or will they belittle and criticize your little one?

Will they even take the time to know your creation? You’ve groomed your baby as well as you can. You’ve dressed them up and followed all the rules. You’ve even waited, delaying the inevitable, repeatedly checking your loved one as often as you can. Still, you hesitated. How can you let go?

Finally, you got the courage and let go, sending your little creation off with a prayer. Now, it is out of your hands. I guess you know that I am not talking about your human child. I am talking about your manuscript.

What to do while you wait?

Now you wait as the hours, days, and weeks pass. You watch for the mailman every day, knowing their schedule better than they do. Before you even have your second sip of coffee, you check your email each morning. Each night you dream about an editor yelling, “Eureka! This is the best book I’ve ever read! Get the contract ready.”

However, as the weeks and months drag by, the nightmares begin. You dream that the manuscript is unread in a wastebasket. Worse yet, you see the editor spilling coffee and using your manuscript to wipe up the spill. Some nights, visions of the editor mocking your work as she shares it with others in her office invades your sleep. Waking up in a sweat, you imagine what it’s like to give up writing.

Then it comes! The letter or email from the publisher. A form letter tells you that they have no place for your baby. Give up? Or repeat? Should you file the manuscript or email it to another publisher? I can only tell you what I learned to do with my rejection letters. 

How do you learn from rejection?

First of all, there are kind editors. Some of them will take the time to tell you what is wrong with your work. Don’t get mad. Look at their suggestions and check your work over. Most rejections will come as a form letter. You will never know why it was rejected. Notice I said it was rejected. You were not rejected! So how do you deal with it? I will tell you my system. 

 I always make a list of likely publishers before I send my manuscripts out. And being who I am and remembering how insecure I am, I do the opposite of what an insecure writer would do. I first send my manuscript to the most prominent publisher, starting with the big houses that publish all the famous, rich authors. There may be four or five top publishers on my list. And I have little hope that they will publish my work, but God’s in charge of that part of my writing. I make my list in this order: 

1) Big publishing houses 

2) Middle-size publishing houses 

3) Small, independent publishers 

4) Self-publishing companies. 

What’s the next step?

After I email or mail my work, I start that very day writing my next book. The publishing is out of my hands. When I receive that rejection, I send the manuscript to the next one on my list and continue my writing. 

I know so many authors who start with self-publishing without even trying to find a publisher. I think that is a big mistake. I have no problem with self-publishing. I have done it often. However, it is cheaper to find a traditional publisher, and they have more access to distribution than I do.

Can you turn it over to God?

This is a business, and once I send it my manuscript out, it is up to God. Not taking the steps of faith to do my part is shortchanging what God can do. When I gave up fear, it left an empty spot in me. God hates a void and filled that void with courage. He always replaces a defect with a virtue. I am too busy writing my next book to pine away about rejections. I make it a habit of sending out a rejected manuscript to another publisher on the day I received the rejection. I don’t let fear or depression swim around in my insecurities. 

When my book is published, I take another step of faith. One a month, I send my book out for what I call a “shot in the dark.” I mail it to Oprah, book clubs, and TV shows that highlight books. I take a chance and send books to other famous self-identified Catholic or Christian reporters. I send books to radio and television personalities. This has yielded me some radio interviews!

The point is faith, not fear. So the next time that rejection comes, have a plan that keeps your baby out there and keeps your success in God’s hands.

Copyright 2021 Karen Kelly Boyce